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Jenny was peeling potatoes Sunday and found this heart-shaped potato that wasn’t beating.  I told her to put it on her chest, so she did…After taking the picture we both noticed it was actually going bad on the bottom part so we threw it out. When we texted the pics to Jenny’s family one of them said “you’re heartless!”The end.

Last month my boss wanted us to decorate stockings for Christmas at work.  It was intended to make the clinic look more festive for the holidays.  One of my co-workers didn’t want to do it because she felt like she didn’t have an artistic flair.  When it was my turn I just drew the first thing that came to my mind… a foot.  The strategically placed green ho’s (ankle, sole, big toe), the PacMan, and the leg lamp tassels were an afterthought.  I just wanted to make something that would make people go “huh?”  A few patients at my desk told me they liked it.  Santa even shrugged his shoulders and put some candy in it to get me through the sleepy parts of my shift. 

Here’s another image to comfort and/or disturb you.  When I saw this fishy guy with a Frank Zappa beard and bulging eyes, I couldn’t help but do a quick sketch.  It was only later that I realized that the top of his neck looked more like a finger knuckle, and if you turned him upside down he might even resemble a seal, but I like the idea of him being an eel with a gaping mouth and a useless goatee. Ladies and gentlemen please say “hello” (or “blech!”) to the Bohemian Finger Eel.

Every time I take off the wrapper to an apple flavored Jolly Rancher and pop it in my mouth, I’m transported back in time to an arcade in the 1980′s.  As soon as that artificial hard candied Granny Smith candy melts into my taste buds I can hear the sounds of PacMan, Battle Zone, Gorf, and sometimes Tail Gunner.  Back then those little Jolly Ranchers cost 2 cents each, and the bigger flat ones were only 5 cents more.  I’ve never forgotten those inexpensive little treats, and they were always in stock whenever I wanted to escape into the arcade.  Right now there is a bag of Jolly Ranchers at work that we put out for patients… but when no one is looking, and I feel like going back in time, I’ll swipe one for myself.

I don’t know what song Dad and I were trying to play in this photo, but I can tell that it was hitting a speed bump.  I can also tell that I was still in my 30′s.  My hair was still auburn, and I hadn’t started balding yet.  I do remember treasuring the moment because Dad and I didn’t get to play music together very often.  There will be more memories in the coming posts.  I can’t squeeze them all in here right now.  Dad left this earth on Thanksgiving Day, but I still talk to him and sometimes I can hear his voice.

I had to go to the writer’s room and crack some skulls this morning. My new job at the hospital has resulted in a steady paycheck, an increase in Advil for shoulder pain, and a serious decrease in blog posts. My writing team plays Atari games when I’m away, and doesn’t seem to get the idea that they need to come up with fresh ideas. Hang on a second… I AM THE WRITING TEAM! I watch TV and play Atari games when I get home from work instead of writing new blog posts. My apologies dear reader. In the words of Pogo, “…we have met the enemy, and he is us.”

My inner dork was disappointed when the ASL interpreter didn’t display a well known Vulcan sign yesterday.  While I was watching KU’s Morning Medical Update program, one of the co-hosts was making Star Trek references during the show’s opening.  The good folks who produce daily shows like this at KU provide information that is mostly about Covid-19.  I can only imagine how much brevity goes into a medical show of this nature, and any time you can have light conversation it must feel like taking a moment to just breathe.  When he said “live long and prosper” and made the coinciding hand gesture, I thought it would be cool if the ASL interpreter in the bottom corner of the screen would also do it, but he just signed the words for “live long and prosper.”  I sent Dr. Stites (the Morning Medical Update co-host) a message in Microsoft Teams expressing my disappointment with the ASL interpreter, and my support for the program.

Things that were blurry now have a focus.  I stopped spinning, but the world didn’t.  My last blog post was over 3 weeks ago, and my father wants to know what a GIF is.  The shortest answer to that question is, it’s the moving image in this blog post.  The longer answer is Graphic Interchange Format, and the first one was made in 1987 according to Wikipedia.  I remember when I didn’t know what something was and I asked my parents.  If they weren’t sure we’d look it up in the encyclopedia.  We knew that information wasn’t necessarily the most recent information– but it was solid, and nobody doubted its validity.  Now there’s too much information at our fingertips, and everything we know can be argued and disputed.  I miss the authority of those old encyclopedias.

This is a GIF I first posted when I was a contact tracer last year.  My co-workers and I would wish each other “good morning!” each day in a chat room since we all worked from home.  They usually posted a sunrise GIF or a coffee drinker GIF.  I wanted to be different.  In my search for gems from TV’s past, I struck gold when I found Lindsay Wagner as the Bionic Woman.  I typed “70′s morning” in the search bar and there she was.  When you need a little boost to get a jump on your day this GIF will lift your spirits!

I’m normally a patient guy, but when my stomach starts grumbling or I can see the light at the end of the work day I start to feel like Spanky here.  This GIF reflects my feelings right before lunch or quitting time.  I usually post this image in a chat when another co-worker asks “is it 5:00 yet?”  Nope.  We’re stuck here with Spanky until the whistle blows.