Monthly Archives: January 2022

Ruby showed me her socks last week.  They made me hungry and nostalgic.  The left sock says “Don’t go bacon my heart” the right says “I couldn’t if I fried.”  They both have images of bacon and eggs.  I didn’t get the song reference right away.  Ruby works next to me in the urology clinic and our shift was almost over so I was probably ready to go home.  When it gets to certain parts of the day not all of the spaghetti sticks to the wall if you know what I mean.  Anyway,  her socks are referencing a 1976 hit by Elton John and Kiki Dee.  It starts with them singing, “Don’t go breaking my heart, I couldn’t if I tried.”

Like lines on an X-Y graph, my favorite movie actor and my favorite recording artist have intersected.  Bill Murray half sings and half talks his way through The Piano Has Been Drinking, a Tom Waits song originally released in 1976.  It’s going to be part of a documentary coming out ironically enough on Groundhog Day this year.  The lyrics reveal a drunken logic that’s really out there, but it can still be grasped by a sober person:
“the carpet needs a haircut,
and the spotlight looks like a prison break
And the telephone’s out of cigarettes,
and the balcony is on the make…”
To hear the song and see Bill Murray play the piano incorrectly, click here.

People used to smoke everywhere: restaurants, airplanes, hospitals… yes hospitals.  This matchbook came from Research Hospital & Medical Center in Kansas City.  It’s hard to believe there was a time when patients could smoke in their rooms.  It’s also hard to believe there was a time when the first two digits of a phone number had to be deciphered from a name.  CRestview was the name given to Research on this matchbook, and if you look at any phone you’ll see that the letters “C” and “R” are under the numbers “2″ and “7.”  You can still call Research Medical Center today at 276-4000.  Don’t forget the area code though, it’s 816.

The first one was singin’ in the rain, the second was the family matriarch in Beverly Hills, the third rode shotgun with a baby on his motorcycle, and the fourth dared to go where no man had gone before.  What do these people have in common? They all came from El Paso, TX.  Debbie Reynolds who co-starred with Gene Kelly in his most iconic role, Irene Ryan who played “Granny” on the Beverly Hillbillies, Randall “Tex” Cobb who kidnapped a baby from two other kidnappers in Raising Arizona, and Gene Rodenberry, creator of Star Trek– all of these and over 200 more came from the same desert town as my dad.

I never thought I’d see one of my arcade games on a piece of formal wear.  That’s exactly what I saw as I binge watched Cobra Kai last week while in quarantine.  Cobra Kai is a follow up series to the Karate Kid movies, so it only makes sense that the producers would include a bunch of 80′s references.  I couldn’t believe it when I saw Demetri wearing a Pac-Man suit to his high school prom.  Now of course I have to find one.

Chris gave me a bag of old matchbooks a few days ago.  One of them came from Joyland, an amusement park that used to be in Wichita.  I know that it’s not there anymore because I looked it up online and found out that it was in regular operation from 1949-2004.  It was permanently closed two years later.  I can’t help but wonder how cool it was in its heyday, and how run down it must have been in later years.  The wooden roller coaster named Nightmare had to be living up to its name as was Louie the Clown playing the Wurlitzer…

Jenny was peeling potatoes Sunday and found this heart-shaped potato that wasn’t beating.  I told her to put it on her chest, so she did…After taking the picture we both noticed it was actually going bad on the bottom part so we threw it out. When we texted the pics to Jenny’s family one of them said “you’re heartless!”The end.

Last month my boss wanted us to decorate stockings for Christmas at work.  It was intended to make the clinic look more festive for the holidays.  One of my co-workers didn’t want to do it because she felt like she didn’t have an artistic flair.  When it was my turn I just drew the first thing that came to my mind… a foot.  The strategically placed green ho’s (ankle, sole, big toe), the PacMan, and the leg lamp tassels were an afterthought.  I just wanted to make something that would make people go “huh?”  A few patients at my desk told me they liked it.  Santa even shrugged his shoulders and put some candy in it to get me through the sleepy parts of my shift. 

Here’s another image to comfort and/or disturb you.  When I saw this fishy guy with a Frank Zappa beard and bulging eyes, I couldn’t help but do a quick sketch.  It was only later that I realized that the top of his neck looked more like a finger knuckle, and if you turned him upside down he might even resemble a seal, but I like the idea of him being an eel with a gaping mouth and a useless goatee. Ladies and gentlemen please say “hello” (or “blech!”) to the Bohemian Finger Eel.

Every time I take off the wrapper to an apple flavored Jolly Rancher and pop it in my mouth, I’m transported back in time to an arcade in the 1980′s.  As soon as that artificial hard candied Granny Smith candy melts into my taste buds I can hear the sounds of PacMan, Battle Zone, Gorf, and sometimes Tail Gunner.  Back then those little Jolly Ranchers cost 2 cents each, and the bigger flat ones were only 5 cents more.  I’ve never forgotten those inexpensive little treats, and they were always in stock whenever I wanted to escape into the arcade.  Right now there is a bag of Jolly Ranchers at work that we put out for patients… but when no one is looking, and I feel like going back in time, I’ll swipe one for myself.