What Makes A Human Tick

supermareBack in 2004 I was guaranteed one minute of international fame when this image popped up every afternoon at 5:43 on the human clock. I submitted the photo fifteen years ago after our trip to Europe. Jenny & I had dinner with friends last week. During our visit they told us about their recent trip to Ireland and Scotland, and had some cool vacation pics to show us. One picture had an outdoor laundromat with numbered machines. It reminded me of the human clock. I went back and found the account I created. There are some new additions to the website:
ANALOG…an analog human clock
POBOX…a P.O. Box clock
regularcalendar…and a human calendar

No Convy Cash Today

themanThe weather was good, the crowd wasn’t surly, and it was easy to find parking close to Main Street last Tuesday night for the Joplin Christmas Parade. When I met my family near 8th and Main, a young woman from ShowMe The Ozarks Magazine took my picture along with my step dad and brother-in-law. The woman asked each one of us for our names, and there was a slight moment of hesitation. Bert Convy. Flip Wilson. Abe Vigoda. I’ve held on to those old TV names like uncashed checks in my brain wallet since the 1970′s, and for a brief moment I wanted to see if their currency was still recognized. I imagined her taking our photos and names back to the office, and her editor saying “Wait a minute… why do those names sound familiar? Hey! Those guys are all DEAD!” It might have been the parade’s theme of Christmas Through the Decades that made me want to go back in time. I don’t know. We ended up giving our real names to the young photographer and then we cheered and waved when the high school band marched by. Sara (my niece) was playing the flute!

Thanksgiving Day Jams

justthe3ofusWe ate, we gave thanks, and we made music on Thanksgiving. I can always count on playing my guitar when I stay in Joplin over the weekend, and if the timing is right there are other musicians who chime in. Jane and Sara, two of my nieces,  jammed with me on ukulele and casio Thursday night while Jenny, Mom, and Darla were cleaning up in the kitchen.

Giddy Up Gobble Gobble!

turkeyriderOne time  I asked my grandma what it was like growing up on the farm & how far she had to ride the school bus. She answered: “School bus?!? I never heard of such nonsense! Sonny, in my day we either walked to school, or we rode the family TURKEY! And as you can see by this old photo, we were happy to do it!” Thanksgiving was a hit this year in Joplin. We took the saddle off the turkey, and cooked it until it was tender.

The Tribal “Here Boy!”

dogsThey called. He came. The Great Dog Summoning is one of my nephew’s latest drawings posted on instagram. It’s also one of the audio tracks he posted on soundcloud under the name Burial Gate. I love it when Reggie (my nephew) lets his imagination off the leash and conjures up nocturnal sounds and images. When the grass glows, and the dogs dance, I’ll know I’m either in a dream, or in one of Reggie’s drawings.

The Apple Bakers

applebakersWhen the weather gets cold and Granny Smith apples turn crisp, I know that “apple baking day” is right around the corner. Jan and Jenny have been getting together to bake those apple pies, apple fritters, and apple dumplings for the last 17 years. It’s a tradition. A few of those years I got together with Jan’s husband, Jeremy. Depending on the weather we would either go to an arcade, a toy train store, or a friend’s house… we never could stick with one thing like our wives did.

Still Steven After All These Years

withamicHe moves like a statue and he sounds like an uncle that just woke up. It has to be Steven Wright. I was flipping through youtube videos when I came across his 1990 HBO special, Wicker Chairs and Gravity. I couldn’t stop laughing. Here’s a partial transcript of the one liners:
“I’m staying in an old hotel, they sent me a wakeup letter.”

“One time I stayed in a hotel, the pool was on the 23rd floor… couldn’t believe how deep it was.”

“I was walking home one day, I accidentally fell asleep in somebody’s
satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TVs all over the world.”

“One time I went fishing with Salvador Dali… he was using a dotted line… he caught every other fish.”

“If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?”

This Is How We Do It

01recordingPlug in a cable.
Flip a switch.
Push a button.
Check the audio levels.
In the simplest terms, this is how I make a podcast. Sometimes the editing process feels like I’m putting together a jigsaw puzzle, and when the computer slows down it feels like I’m watching a turtle race. Regardless of the metaphor, we are gaining ground and making headway on THE EPILOGUE CABIN. Here is a sneak preview of upcoming shows.

Late Night Karate

karateDOUIt’s been a really long time since I’ve hung out at Tapcade in KC. I used to go there mostly on Fridays to scratch my video game itch. Since Hoovie gave me an arcade machine, I’ve just been hanging out at home finding and playing new old games like Karate Champ (pic above). Actually the one that works on my machine is the Japanese version called Karate Dou. I don’t understand the audio, but I know when it’s time to fight. Last night I stayed up practicing my gut punches and roundhouse kicks until the antihistamines took hold.

KC To A Tee

KConaTEEAmy wore this cool t-shirt last week when she came in for her morning coffee. When I asked if I could take a picture of it, she was more than happy to stretch it out like a canvas painting. The four landmarks that I highlighted are just a few that I noticed right away. There’s more to the city than meets the eye. Amy was also the friend who helped me come up with the title for my 2019 KCRW Radio Race entry: THE BIG OOF.