You’re Not on the List

drew is getting married today. he asked me to be an usher. it’s not because i’m good at seating people, it’s because i can recognize potentially dangerous people and then direct them outside. i’m more of a wedding bouncer. i don’t actually expect to exercise my authority, but thinking about the possibilities makes my job more interesting.

2 Responses to You’re Not on the List

  1. Does your tux say, “SECURITY” on the back? Do you talk into your sleeve? Do you have an earplug?

  2. yes yes and yes

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