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It is a proven fact: every time Lenny and Squiggy were on Laverne and Shirley they could make me laugh out loud. When I saw this clip from 1976 on YouTube I wondered if the characters played by Michael McKean and David Landers had staying power. I never should have doubted them. 44 years later Lenny and the Squigtones still rock.

My care package from Hoovie arrived yesterday! Originally I thought he was only sending one soundtrack– but he sent two, and he threw in two more CD’s packed with music from the 80′s! She Blinded Me With Science is playing right now… all I have to do is close my eyes and it’s 1982 at Hoovie’s house and we are watching MTV again. OK, back to the present– there for a few days I didn’t know if Hoovie’s care package was going to make it to my house. He mailed it on the 14th and sent it priority. When it took longer than we both expected, Hoovie texted me: “Hopefully it’s because they picked it up at my house instead of me driving it to them… probably fell behind the driver seat after it slipped out from underneath her ham sandwich… then realizing it was a time sensitive article… she put in Santa’s pile. Ended up at the north pole on accident, was redirected to KC in route to Overland Park central post office… this was probably the delay, should be to you today or tomorrow unless the dog sniffing counterfeit CD dog finds it.” Thanks Hoove! It’s a Christmas miracle!

First she could hear sleigh bells in the distance. Then there was the sound of reindeer hooves on the roof, but when Santa couldn’t find the chimney, he just hopped down on the patio! Santa made a special stop to visit Diane’s mother, Thelma recently. It  a socially distanced “Merry Christmas!” There must have been a nearby elf wrapped in cellophane that told Thelma to turn and say ‘cheese.’ I’m not sure who took that picture– but she sure looks happy!

Wow. A lot of changes have happened in the last three months. I don’t teach health care professionals how to do CPR anymore, I don’t wear an apron and steam milk before the sun comes up, and my earthlink email isn’t linked to the earth anymore, it’s gone. It’s time to update the ABOUT page!

Close your eyes and go backward in time with me– after you’re done reading of course. This video from Badly Drawn Boy was the 4th blog post I made back in 2011, which feels like a century ago. The current health situation combined with social anxiety and the need for truth and clarity brought me back to this video. When I looked up the meaning to the song’s title, Year of the Rat, it said: “the rat typically represents new beginnings. They are powerful symbols of fertility, wealth and plenty, so people born in the Year of the Rat are considered to be optimistic, easy-going and kind.” It’s my hope that we can all hold on until we find some new energy.

As I nuke my second cup of coffee this morning, I’m picturing other people at a breakfast counter. The coffee is doing its work. I’m slowly waking up. My brain is going back and forth like a tail on an old cat clock building momentum. Yesterday Evelyn called and asked if I could look at her TV. It’s not connected to her dish satellite receiver for some reason. I pushed all the buttons on her remote and nothing happened. Then I found another remote– but that one didn’t get any results either. Today I’ll see if I can hook an an antenna to her TV and at least get the local channels tuned in.  Oooh, some toast would taste good right now. Back and forth, back and forth.

It’s been a couple of days and the voice inside my head is tired of getting a busy signal. I was taking a break and relaxing when I saw this design on a t-shirt. Ok, ok I get it. Thanks for calling me from the great beyond, Hunter. The stories I tell won’t be as weird as yours, but I will try to be detailed without losing the point. Now my stomach is making the same gurgling sounds as my toilet and I have to take care of one before fixing the other. Time to use that new plunger…

It finally happened. The device I’ve been using for my own convenience thinks of  itself as more important than me now. Two nights ago it decided it didn’t want to take pictures of anything. It won’t record video either. It will only take screenshots. It’s basically saying “why do you want to take a picture of that when I can take a picture of this?” When I try to use the camera, a notification shows up at the bottom of the screen that says “Security policy restricts use of Camera.” I feel like I’m in that scene from 2001: A Space Odyssey where the astronaut is trying to get his computer to open the pod bay doors and HAL 9000 says, “I’m sorry Dave, I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

We didn’t know whether to fold him or wash him, but there he was in the clothes hamper! When a cat is staring a hole into your forehead you know he wants to play. So what did I do? I grabbed my phone and took a picture instead. Hey, hey, don’t be so quick to take his side now! He pulls the old “switcheroo” on me all the time. Sometimes I think he wants to be affectionate, and the next second he’s biting my hand. Cats.

My uncle was a man who took pleasure in the simple things. He loved taking vacations where he could seclude himself and listen to classical music. During the holiday season, he liked to drive through neighborhoods with Christmas lights with his wife. Sometimes they would even indulge themselves at an exquisite restaurant. His brother Frank, however, never understood why anyone would want to leave his own home where you can smoke on Christmas morning without even getting dressed.
-Even though this picture looks like my Uncle Johnny from the 1960′s, I’m pretty sure it’s someone else. I just wanted to make up a story around it.