Old Radio Detectives Never Die

if hard boiled eggs could talk they would sound like sam spade, philip marlowe, barry craig, and pat novak. these are the old radio detectives that jenny & i listen to at bedtime. when there’s a late night jazzy horn section, followed by a weary savvy intro read by jack webb, there’s gonna be a 1930′s-40′s noir-ish dialogue that never stops sounding cool. here’s what he sounded like before he was joe friday on dragnet:
ON WOMEN:
“She was wearing a V-neck sweater, and the designer believed in using capital letters.”
“She turned and walked out of there. It was the kind of the walk that makes you flip the calendar and find out how far away spring is.”
“She sauntered in, moving slowly from side to side like 118 pounds of warm smoke.”
ON MEN:
“He was about the size of a golf bag with arms. If he had a cigar box, he could see over a pool table.”
“Calm down before you wind up in a boy’s choir.”
“He was draped over the curb like a tired carpet. And if his suit was a brighter yellow, he could have passed for a loading zone.”
ON AMBIENCE:
“The sky was the color of a bruised spot on a man’s arm.”
“The room was full of taboo.”
“The street was as deserted as a warm bottle of beer.”