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Shirt? Check! Pants? Check! Boots? CHECK THESE OUT!!!!  New work attire rules require me to wear black shoes at KU along with a blue shirt and black pants.  Yep, they want me black and blue.  However, I don’t own a black pair of shoes– my old black and white sneakers fell apart years ago.  So the only sensible affordable thing to do was to dye my brown boots black.  Henry, my shoe repair guy down the street, sold me a bottle of color preparation and leather dye for $16 and told me how to do it– three hours later I had the right footwear for work.  Wham, Bam, thank you Henry!

It was something I would have never done as a teenager.  The box of girl scout cookies came with a note that read “thank you… please buy again.”  One of my co-workers took orders for her daughter’s girl scout troop in the clinic.  I pulled $5 out of my wallet so I could have a box of cookies myself.  When Kyafia delivered the cookies they came with this note to ‘buy again.’  I told my co-worker, “your daughter has a lot of nerve.  She’s going to be an executive in an office someday.  Can I take a selfie with the mother of a future up-and-comer?”  She said “sure.”

3:28 and all is… almost Angie!  I was revisiting the human clock a few days ago when I saw this guy on the analogue side.  I’m pretty sure he’s of the male persuasion, but the clothes, the hat, and the stance, and the expression on his face remind me of my old co-worker, daughter figure, and beeping vegetable buddy, Angie.  One of our last songs we collaborated on was about my fear of shower curtains.  I miss ya kiddo.

Yep. That’s the name of tonight’s episode on the latest incarnation of the show that won’t die– Mystery Science Theater 3000!  It started in the late 1980′s and now 33 years and 3 networks later, there’s still someone trapped in space with his robot pals making fun of bad movies!  I’ve got my special pass to watch Santo in the Treasure of Dracula at the Gizmoplex tonight at 7pm with all the other fans who pitched in last year to raise over $6 million.  Together we’ll see what happens when Mexican wrestler El Santo invents a time machine in 1969– only to have somebody use it to find the hidden location of Dracula’s treasure.  I don’t know about you but if there’s a masked Mexican wrestler who can travel through time and fight Dracula, I want to see it!!!

It began as a way to stay social in the early days of Covid.  Then we started looking forward to it every month.  We started playing cards and eating dinner with our neighbors Barb and Evelyn over a year and a half ago.  Last week Barb made meatball pasta and garlic bread.  Jenny brought salad.  We played two hands of Hand and Foot (aka Canasta), and then ended the night with a dessert Evelyn called Very Merry Berry Bars.  This bi-weekly tradition is one that keeps me sane.

Intrusive, violent, and hysterical– I can’t explain it.  There’s just something about smashing someone else’s instrument that is both jarring and funny.  I was watching this scene in Star Trek that was a call back to this scene in Animal House, and it cracked me up.  And as I was making this post it also reminded me of this scene in Freaks and Geeks.

When I found out Swatch watches were still around, I thought to myself, “huh, that’s cool.”  They were a big deal in the 80′s.  When I saw the slot on the back to twist off and replace the battery– THAT got me excited!  Getting a new battery in a wristwatch has always felt like an insurmountable task– like building an old clipper ship inside a bottle.  One of the big reasons I stopped buying watches was because the batteries never lasted long enough, and replacing them was a pain.  That all changed when I saw the back of a Swatch watch last week. All you need is a flat head screwdriver and a light touch.  I ordered the Windy Dune model.  It is scheduled to arrive today!

When I started working at KU Medical Center aka The University of Kansas Health System, I only knew one route from my truck to my desk.  They are at opposite ends of the campus.  Now I know a couple of alternatives that allow me to walk inside a heated passage like the one seen above.  This particular walkway connects the Lied building to the main hospital.  The pale green color makes me wonder if it’s one of the older ones, and I can almost hear Rod Serling say: “You’re traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That’s the signpost up ahead – your next stop, the Twilight Zone!”

Ruby showed me her socks last week.  They made me hungry and nostalgic.  The left sock says “Don’t go bacon my heart” the right says “I couldn’t if I fried.”  They both have images of bacon and eggs.  I didn’t get the song reference right away.  Ruby works next to me in the urology clinic and our shift was almost over so I was probably ready to go home.  When it gets to certain parts of the day not all of the spaghetti sticks to the wall if you know what I mean.  Anyway,  her socks are referencing a 1976 hit by Elton John and Kiki Dee.  It starts with them singing, “Don’t go breaking my heart, I couldn’t if I tried.”

Like lines on an X-Y graph, my favorite movie actor and my favorite recording artist have intersected.  Bill Murray half sings and half talks his way through The Piano Has Been Drinking, a Tom Waits song originally released in 1976.  It’s going to be part of a documentary coming out ironically enough on Groundhog Day this year.  The lyrics reveal a drunken logic that’s really out there, but it can still be grasped by a sober person:
“the carpet needs a haircut,
and the spotlight looks like a prison break
And the telephone’s out of cigarettes,
and the balcony is on the make…”
To hear the song and see Bill Murray play the piano incorrectly, click here.