The Vegetable Orchestra

vegetableorchestraif you’re wondering how i found out about the vegetable orchestra, it just came to me. it literally fell in my lap. jarred, one of my old co-workers posted a video on facebook & i watched people play carrots, squash, lettuce heads, and a bunch of other produce. this is music i can really sink my teeth into.

“Let Me Entertain You…”

swordfishtrombones-tom-waits-15571716-1024-1024-e1458943434695“…let me make you smile!” this is a line from an old song i barely remember. i’m invoking its memory because earlier this week i needed some entertainment. that came in the form of tom waits on tom waits, a book of his interviews in my bathroom. among his former jobs waits tells an interviewer that he worked as “a labor organizer in a maternity ward,” and that he “rotated tires on a miscarriage.” he also sprinkles in things like “did you know there are only two things you can throw out the window of a moving car? water and feathers. everything else you can get in trouble for.”

Beth aka Space

spacebethtexting a few nights ago with jenny looked like this:
jenny: i’m at rehab center with space and Mary Jo
me: space?
jenny: BETH, haha
me: tell her that’s my new nickname for her now.

The New Collegians

01clippeddanarachel and dana are two responsible college students– but only because they haven’t mapped out a deviancy plan. dana sent me a message & we started chatting on facebook. our short exchange took me back to the nights of cramming for tests & digging through dumpsters… you know… college.

A Flagrant Disregard

notrespassinga couple of nights ago, a car zipped past me onto I-35. we were both coming on the freeway. he was behind me, he drove on the shoulder to get past me, and then he was in front of me zig zagging between cars that were already on the interstate. how could somebody have such disregard for rules? how could someone ignore common courtesy? then i remembered a picture of me basically doing the same thing.

What If… Bubba Ho-Tep

Bubba-Ho-Tep-1-Fullwhat if elvis didn’t die in 1977 & switched places w/an impersonator to avoid the rigors of fame and stardom, and was still alive in a nursing home. what if the king of rock n’ roll was friends with another elderly man down the hall who believed he was really a dyed black JFK– and what if they were both about to battle an ancient soul-sucking mummy. all of this plays out in the 2002 movie bubba ho-tep. this was a movie that i saw, forgot, and then heard about a couple of nights ago when my next door neighbor said “hey dave! bubba ho-tep is on TV tonight!”

Another Blustery Day

tony-brandon-the-story-of-winnie-the-pooh-and-the-blustery-day-disneylandit’s more than breezy this morning. wind gusts are predicted to be as high as 38 mph. it’s days like this i’m reminded of a winnie the pooh book my sister and i used to read and listen to. it was one of those disney books with a vinyl record. there was a story on one side, and a song or two on the other. it also rang chimes when you were supposed to turn the page. really windy days are still cool to me because they change physical landscapes, alter the way we walk, and have an effect on what we wear. one gusty day in grade school my friends and i were amazed at how long the wind could hold our jackets against a fence on the playground.

Not So Good In A Clutch

theswitchthat’s not tom thumb’s mailbox, it’s a clutch safety switch. if you wanna know when auto makers went too far with safety features, it was when they made this dumb thing. i thought it was kinda goofy that my engine wouldn’t start until i pushed in the clutch– even when it was in neutral! well that was because of the safety switch. a few days ago, my truck wouldn’t start because the switch started going bad. thanks to miguel’s youtube video, i was able to disconnect & bypass it. now i can start up the engine in neutral without pushing in the clutch, just like everyone did over 30 years ago.


guestsbeep goes the weasel returned to salon kitch last friday night! i had a drum & bass looper going & as soon as a curious onlooker stepped up– we had a band! we were surrounded by the artwork of chris frye, a local artist who isn’t afraid of color & loves old cartoons. trina (above right) tried out the theremin for the first time. i also had the carrot sticks tuned to play star wars, satellite of love, and this cool jam that joshua started.

We Didn’t Even Turn Into Pumpkins

tomandiggychris texted yesterday morning that he was free to hang out after work– and then the gods of misfortune looked at each other mischievously, rubbed their palms together, and gave him a migraine once he was off the clock. i was cutting up carrot sticks for beep goes the weasel when i got the news. i didn’t get to his house until 10 last night. we settled in, drank tea, planned the rise and fall of civilization, and went back in time watching youtube. i made it back home around 1:00 this morning.