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…you’re out of pier, and it’s time to jump in the lake.  The official training is over.  My job starts today.  Each classroom session felt like a board on a pier and now it’s time to take the plunge.  My department head told me I wouldn’t hit the ground running today, but I know there will be times that feel like cold water on my skin.  What else can I say except– Geronimo!

All hands on deck!  By week’s end we’ll be full to the gunwales and ready to sling your hook!  This second week of job training feels more like learning the ropes.  The first week felt like I was dropped in the ocean to sink or swim.  The phrase, “learning the ropes,” has nautical origins.  A sailor had to learn which ropes would move the sail to catch the wind, and then tie it just right so he wouldn’t blow the man down.  In the classroom we’ve been going over so many “ropes” I might trip over them on my first day. Oh well.

I can’t help it, I love the underdog, and Mystery Science Theater 3000 (aka MST3K) is one feisty underdog.  MST3K is currently on Netflix– but not for long. It got canceled again.  It’s a goofy show where a man in space is forced to watch a bad movie with his robot pals.  The movie quickly becomes the butt of their jokes when they make funny remarks as soon as the opening credits roll.  MST3K has been on TV off an on since 1989.  Each time they found a new network to air the show, it eventually got canceled.  Recently the show’s creator, Joel Hodgson, decided to bypass the networks and go straight to the fans.  They overshot their goal of $5.5 million and actually raised $6.5 million to fund the show.  I personally pledged $42.  See you at the Gizmoplex!

“When you see that color, push this button.”  I wonder if the space monkeys that flew those first NASA missions knew what they were getting into.  Last week I started training for my new job.  Most of it has been in a classroom setting going over multiple aspects of the job.  At one point I told an instructor that it feels like a lot of spaghetti has been thrown against my brain wall and I don’t know how much will stick.  If it leaves a stain, I’ll be happy.  Once I make it to the moon, I’ll make happier monkey sounds.

Our daily chores take a little longer this week.  We are pet sitting for one of our neighbors.  Jenny was telling Christy about it in the picture above.  She was video chatting as Daphne sat in her lap.  Slash made a run for it Tuesday morning when Jenny went over to let Daphne out.  That crazy cat was soaked from the wet weather by the time I finished my shift at Homer’s and let him back in the house.  He was glad to see me and a dry towel.

It’s usually ominous and foreboding.  For the longest time I only knew it as a teasing anticipation for a live Elvis show.  The theme from 2001: A Space Odyssey is one of those big movie scores that’s only played by an orchestra.  I guess that’s why I wanted to play it on my Casio and take all of the pomp and billowy notes out of it.  On the Casio it sounds like a kid slowly letting air out of a balloon or someone breaking melodic wind.  Now that’s something I can be proud of.

Since my new job at KU Med doesn’t start for a couple of weeks I’m filling in some shifts at my old coffeehouse.  The baristas at Homer’s were more than happy to take some time off.  I covered Mary’s shift from noon – 6:30 on Saturday.  Steaming milk, blending frozen drinks, and ringing up customers is still second nature to me even though I haven’t done it since last September.  I was a little surprised at how easy it all came back.  Jenny brought Beth and Gary by around 3:30.

He looks better with a slight cheek bulge.  I didn’t know if the goat was chewing anything when Darla asked me to draw it, but I couldn’t imagine a goat without something in his mouth… but then again I didn’t imagine a goat with a bandana or a billy club either.  One of my sister’s friends dreamed up this image.  He (or she) told Darla about the dream, and she described it to me in a text over the weekend and asked if I could draw a bearded billy goat wearing a bandana and holding a billy club.  I added the “wife beater” tank top for good measure.  Chalk this drawing up as a dream come true.

I found this piece of art in the driveway.  Our neighbors on the corner are moving and this blew out of a dumpster that’s in front of their house.  They held on to this picture for a long time because their kids are well past the age group that produces images like this one.  I always wonder what the artist was thinking when I see these types of pictures.  Is the person in front of a window?  Does the person’s expression reflect happiness or exasperation?  How long has he or she been shaped like a letter from the alphabet?

Wednesday I answered a phone call from Brennan, The Talent Acquisition Manager at KU Med.  He offered me a full time job with benefits and I accepted it.  I start training May 3rd to be a Patient Service Representative!  I’ll be checking people in when they arrive for their doctor’s appointment.  I also received an official offer from the hospital via email.I realize they probably send this letter to everyone who is hired, but when I read “You have impressed us with your skills and background…” it felt personal in a good way.